Coach, community campaign for a second chance

February 27, 2021  |  By Lisa Scagliotti 

Despite a petition signed by more than 1,300 people and multiple interviews with local news media, Jacob Grout’s campaign to return to coaching boys hockey has been met with silence from Harwood Union High School administrators. 

The popular alumnus and former Highlander hockey player was fired two weeks ago from his position as head coach that he held since 2019 when he joined the school’s athletic staff. He last year led the team to the Division II state championship, the first boys hockey title Harwood has won in 15 years. 

Former Harwood Boys Hockey Coach Jacob Grout. Times-Argus photo.

But his tenure was cut short when a message Grout sent to team members prompted a complaint to school administrators. The message contained profanity and complained to players about parent interference with coaching decisions. 

Grout was dismissed just days before the team’s opening game on Feb. 17. Former assistant coach Shawn Thompson was named the new head coach by school administrators and assistant Martin Casey remains on board as well. 

The incident has since touched off a firestorm of public outcry on social media, starting with parents of team members who expressed their outrage, and their players’ disappointment.

An online petition calling for Grout’s reinstatement as coach now sits with more than 1,300 signatures and dozens of comments supportive of the former coach and critical of the school’s handling of the situation. 

In its narrative, the petition acknowledges that neither the coach’s communication to the team nor the purported complaint from an offended parent to administrators followed guidelines set out in the school’s athletics policies. 

“However, the termination of Coach Grout is a disproportionately harsh response,” the petition states. “There is no rule requiring mandatory dismissal in this case, at the exclusion of all other remedies. Imposing this most severe of remedies unjustly stigmatizes Coach Grout and unfairly hampers his ability to repair the rupture.”

The petition suggests that Grout deserves a chance to make amends and “through years of community service and youth hockey coaching, Coach Grout has earned the right to do so.”

Although he initially was reluctant to comment on the situation or challenge the decision, Grout this week has done multiple interviews with local news media in which he has expressed regret for his coarse and unprofessional message. He also unequivocally expressed a desire to return to coaching the team if the school would reconsider its decision. 

“This is like if you lost your kid – you fight to get them back,” he said in an interview Wednesday where he said the previous week had felt like “a bad episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’” for him and his family. 

He explained that the wave of public support in the wake of his dismissal has buoyed his spirits and motivated him to speak out with the hope of returning to the players and the game he loves. “I’m getting my energy from all that’s happening,” Grout said. 

Making his case

On Monday, the ousted coach was a guest on WDEV Radio with host Brady Farkas to discuss the incident and the fallout. The next day, the Times-Argus newspaper printed a transcript of a lengthy interview. 

Along the way, Grout also has shared with the media – including Waterbury Roundabout – what he says is the complete message that touched off this firestorm. That’s because Grout said a message circulating in the community was indeed authentic, but unfortunately incomplete. 

This week, Grout shared with local news outlets what he said was the full, original message that contained an additional six sentences at the end. That version ends by looking ahead to the game without time for practice but with a rallying cry to the team:  

“Pick your heads up gentlemen, the journey continues on Wednesday,” he wrote. “May there be no mercy for those who step in our way from here on out. We are Highlanders, we are family, we WILL be champions.”

Having seen it, Farkas commented on his radio show this week that it cast a different tone than the original version people shared. And it was possible that the message may have been clipped in an attempt to take a screenshot or to copy and paste. 

Grout said he believed that the school principals who fired him may have only seen the shorter version. He said the longer version was sent to school officials this week but, “the school hasn’t reached out to me at all.” 

 When asked whether administrators were aware of the two versions of the coach’s message to the team, Harwood Unified Union School District Superintendent Brigid Nease said yes.

“I can say we have read and considered both versions of the written messages presented to us,” Nease replied in an email on Thursday. “The HUHS admin team and I read and consider all the messages we receive on this employee matter, and we keep up to date with the media reporting, both print and broadcast.” 

Waterbury Roundabout did not publish the earlier message because it was shared by second-hand sources and was not confirmed by Grout. With Grout’s permission, the message included here is what he says he sent to the team captain to pass along to the rest of the team before the first game.   

Grout said he wrote the note after the Feb. 13 scheduled start to the season was delayed several days due to a COVID-19 case. Once team members tested and received negative results, they were cleared for their first game on Feb. 17. 

Grout said his words were meant to motivate the team. He also said he had been frustrated with players' attendance at earlier practices where some were late or absent, and he wanted to get the group on track as the season started. In retrospect, he acknowledged it was inappropriate. 

"My delivery was way off. I can't apologize for that enough," Grout said. "But I feel like my message was pure."

A 2008 Harwood Union graduate and former hockey player himself, Grout in his WDEV interview with Farkas on Monday said that he would like to return. “I do want the job back,” he said, admitting there would be “some apprehensiveness” given the situation. “One hundred percent I would like to keep moving forward with this program,” he said.

Crisis confidential

Harwood school officials so far have been tight-lipped, pointing out that the situation is a personnel matter that they cannot discuss publicly. 

The high-profile controversy is the first such incident that Harwood Union Co-Principals Laurie Greenberg and Megan McDonough have had to navigate since they took their positions last summer. They joined the administration after longtime Harwood Principal Lisa Atwood retired in June. 

In an email last week, they said they must take complaints seriously, and that coaches are role models who influence students and therefore are held to high standards. 

In response to a follow-up inquiry this week, they reiterated their position: “Again, we are unable to respond with our thinking given that this is in fact an employee matter,” they wrote.

Superintendent Nease took the same tack in responding to a query about Grout’s status. “Regarding the termination of the hockey coach, all I can say is that this is a matter of personnel, therefore confidential and we have no further comment,” she said Thursday.

Grout said he was unsure of his next steps and offered a sentiment that echoes the community petition: “The punishment doesn’t fit the crime.”

Meanwhile, the Harwood boys hockey team is off to a 3-0 start to the season. Despite a tumultuous opener against U-32 marked with numerous penalties and two players being ejected, Harwood prevailed 3-2. 

Last Saturday, the Highlanders hosted Hartford in a 5-0 shutout and a milestone career 100th point scored by junior Skylar Platt. And on Wednesday, Harwood defeated Milton 3-2, reminiscent of the 2020 title match. 

The team travels to Brattleboro Saturday.  

This is the message Jacob Grout says he wrote to be shared with the hockey team members. Reaction to it led to his dismissal.  

Send to the boys:

Well boys, minor set back here.  All this time I have been saying how quickly things could come to an end, and I feel like those words have fallen on deaf ears.  Do you believe me now?  S--- happens that is out of our control, plain and simple.  However, it is never how we act in the moment of the blind side that defines us, but when we get back on our feet and dust ourselves off that will define us.

In a way, I’m glad this happened.  The pouting and boot lipping about what line you are on, who is on my line, who is on power play....it’s getting to be bulls---.  Think about this for a moment, would you like to be playing with those guys today?  Can you honestly look me in the eye, not kissing my a--, and tell me you actually appreciate the ice time we are getting?  There is very few I know of on this team right now who could say that and not have their nose grow.  If you actually cared about the game we all love, who gives a f--- who is on your line?!  I don’t give a f--- about status or image.  If you are in my team, you are here for one thing, to get the f---in job done.  If you get one shift in two games, that one shift better be the hardest shift you have ever played.  We are all here for the same thing.  

One thing that pisses me off more than anything is getting texts from parents about a line their baby boy is on.  You don’t like your line, pouting isn’t going to help you.  You don’t like your line, mommy and daddy aren’t going to help you.  Hard work is the only thing that will help you.

Pick your heads up gentlemen, the journey continues on Wednesday.  No practice in between, straight to a game.  I expect to see an unholy fire storm reigned down from here on out.  May there be no mercy for those who step in our way from here on out.  We are Highlanders, we are family, we WILL be champions.