OPINION: ‘Our kids need us. We need to step up.’

Dec. 17, 2021  |  By Sarah Page 

I’ve never been a parent but I have had between 3,000 and 5,000 children in class.

Adolescents are my area of expertise. I can tell you a few things about today, December 17, a day forewarned on social media that there might be threats to schools across our nation.

First, this isn’t the only day your child is concerned about gun safety in school. Kids think about it and talk about it frequently. It is a constant concern with kids, a source of steady low-level anxiety. It will help them to have a talk about what that is like for them. The adults working with them will do their level best to have things as normal as possible today.

This time of the year is challenging any year and this year is particularly challenging for everyone. Given that, they will do their best. But your child’s teacher sees many children over the course of the day. They cannot be there individually for all of their children.

Today, and every day, is the day to parent. Talk with your child about the space social media takes in their life, both good and bad. Remind them if they see something to say something.

If you have guns in the house, lock them up. The number-one danger to your child in your home is suicide by an unsecured gun. Lock them up. Store your ammunition away from your gun. If your child shares two homes, talk with the other parent about locking up weapons. If they go to other houses ask parents if their guns are locked up. If they are not, don’t let your child go there. 

Respect your child’s privacy and growing autonomy as they age but do not abdicate your responsibility as a parent. Your child is not an adult and is not developmentally mature.  Kids make stupid decisions. That is part of learning. But let them know that some stupid decisions have repercussions that last forever. 

Know what they are doing with their time online and in the real world. Be aware of their mental health and get them help if they need it. If they are anxious or depressed, let them know that they can get help and feel better. Most importantly, listen to them if they tell you they are afraid. 270,000 children have been in schools where there has been a school shooting since the shootings at Columbine. Compared to all the children who have gone to school that is a very small number. But every one of those children and the families who love them have been affected immensely, whether they lost a child or not.

The best thing you can do is to tell them what you plan to do to try to make this problem one that their kids won’t have to deal with and have them see you follow through with that. This is a public health issue and a mental health issue. Our kids need us. We need to step up.

Sarah Page of Duxbury retired in 2010 after a 30-year teaching career at Harwood Union.