From cult recovery to political clarity: A Vermont writer speaks out
April 25, 2025 | By Gerette Buglion
Surprised?
It happens every year. On a fine spring morning walk, I find myself surprised – even shocked – to see where the sun rises. This, despite the fact that my daily walks offer ample consistency to track this detail, year after year, along the same familiar trails.
Blame it on my lack of attention. Blame it on my poor memory – my inability to recall the sun’s annual pilgrimage. Blame it on Vermont’s cloudy days. This solar surprise often occurs after a few – or many – overcast mornings, when I’ve lost track of where, along the horizon, it should appear. Something about the swing to the north-northeast always boggles me.
I’m often unsure what coat to wear for my morning escapades, as spring temperatures fluctuate wildly.
I gasped when I saw the pond iced over again. Just the day before, most of the ice had melted.
It was a familiar gasp. I had just done it the evening before, reading the news.
Standing in my shin-length down coat, gazing at the re-frozen pond, I take a long, slow, deep inhale. I linger for several minutes, digesting my gasps and wondering about a gentler way to be.
None of these experiences is truly surprising.
I remind myself of the steady, precise, and predictable path the sun traces every year.
I remind myself of our son’s birthday 25 years ago in late April – when my husband and I paddled our canoe through a thin layer of ice on a bright, blue-sky day, just hours before his birth.
I remind myself of the consistent, tried-and-true tactics wielded by every narcissistic, cultic, coercive leader alive: moving goalposts, bait-and-switch strategies, and loaded language – three tactics I recognized in that news story about tariffs the night before.
I remind myself that I’ve been subjected to those same tactics of control. I recognize the patterns. I was trapped by them in the past, but I don’t want them messing with my life today.
So what’s the surprise, when there is no surprise?
Granted, the sudden switch to a totalitarian-led government after 250 years of (imperfect) democracy is not easy to get used to. But here we are.
As I stood looking out across the newly refrozen pond, I realized how activated my nervous system has become – how my gasps of surprise are expressions of existential anxiety and anger. It was humbling and clarifying to realize that I’ve been letting world news push me into low-grade survival mode.
But that’s not how I want to live. I’ve been there, done that.
For nearly 11 post-cult years, I’ve been recovering from the pressure-pot of indoctrination, supporting my body, mind, and psyche to heal.
Today, I will do my damndest not to let a cultic president’s predictable bullying tactics get the better of me. Because I know better now. It’s devastating to watch world leaders kowtow to his false power. (May they learn from Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney how best to respond to a narcissistic bully.)
And may I learn from what I’ve learned before:
Pause before consuming national news. Know it may sound shocking, but know that it’s predictable.
Prioritize daily practices of self-care.
Focus my energy where it matters most and where I can maintain the most agency.
Befriend my nervous system.
Be attentive to the joy and beauty all around me.
Actively cultivate relationships that support my well-being.
And write – for me, and for you. If you’ve made it this far, I thank you.
However noisy things get in the coming years, we won’t alter the path of the sun. I aim to pay better attention to its steady arc, take delight in it, and keep my emotional reactions in check. We have a few more solar cycles to strengthen our capacity to weather what’s ahead. Dress wisely.
Gerette Buglion of Hyde Park is an author, advocate and educator whose work draws from lived experience and centers on liberation from coercive control and supporting survivors of cultic abuse. She offers this personal reflection on resilience, political awareness, and the importance of paying attention in these challenging times.