Duxbury gravesite objects vanish in a case of ‘disrespect’
May 10, 2023 | By Lisa Scagliotti It’s not exactly grave robbing, but it’s definitely a case of messing with a grave.
Tucked along Vermont Route 100 in Duxbury, just north of the intersection with Crossett Hill Road sits Phillips Cemetery, also known as Duxbury Hill Cemetery.
The Perry monument at Phillips Cemetery on Tuesday, May 9. Photo by Lisa Scagliotti
Like many Vermont cemeteries, the small, neat graveyard contains markers bearing dates from several centuries spanning the 1800s to 2022.
The mix of modern and antique carved stones label the final resting places of several dozen townspeople over the centuries.
A few days ago, a regular passerby with a connection to one particularly unique monument there was taken aback as she glanced toward her father’s grave while driving past.
The antlers were gone.
Shawnee Perry did a double-take. A moose antler and three white-tailed deer antlers were there just the day before.
The grave marker for her father, James R. Perry, stands out among the various headstones in the cemetery. It’s constructed to look like a section of a stone wall with a granite slab on top.
Her dad, a Vietnam War-era veteran who died in July 2015 at the age of 73, was a renowned woodsman. Some of his favorite activities included hunting, fishing, trapping and exploring in the nearby forests. He loved stone walls. He cut and sold firewood for years. Along the way, he had an uncanny knack for spotting and finding shed deer antlers.
His obituary even mentions his hobby along with his wife, Myra: “Jim and Myra made yearly trips to the North Woods of Maine; traveling along the Golden Road looking for moose sheds and fly-fishing along the way.”
This 2022 photo shows the monument with antlers on top. Photo by Shawnee Perry
He passed on his love of the outdoors and the woods in particular to his daughter who lives nearby and passes the little cemetery practically every day. It seemed apropos after his death to make the headstone on his grave reflect something he loved, Perry said. The stone-wall fixture was added to his gravesite in 2016.
Since then, she said she often says a little hello as she goes by and occasionally stops to leave behind a small memento she’s found on a walk in the woods that somehow reminded her of her father. The collection on top of the mini stone wall monument recently consisted of the deer antlers, one half of a moose rack, and a round conglomerate stone with flecks of quartz.
On Sunday, only the stone sat atop the granite slab on her father’s grave marker. In the seven or so years the monument has been there with random objects on top, nothing has ever disappeared. In fact, the moose antler had been there since the memorial was finished. “It was the ‘anchor’ for all my other little tokens,” Perry said.
Upset by what felt like a violation of her trust that the items left on the grave would be safe and untouched, Perry posted on Facebook about it: “I suppose it was inevitable. Someone has taken the moose antler and white tail antlers I placed atop my Dad's stone as tributes. The moose antler was a gift from a dear friend in honor of my Dad, the white tail antlers were drops I found while foraging over the years. They had a good run. I'll start again. I'm vacillating between cursing or wishing the taker peace. Haven't landed on which yet.”
The post has garnered much conversation among her friends on the social media site, but no clues.
Reached Tuesday, Elliott McElroy of the Duxbury Cemetery Commission was surprised and disappointed to hear that the objects had vanished. She in turn contacted the groundskeeper who had mowed the graveyard on Monday. “He was very sorry to hear about this,” McElroy said. “He said everything seemed fine – nothing was out of the ordinary.”
A stone remains atop the James R. Perry monument this week. Photo by Lisa Scagliotti
One can only guess what the taker’s motivations were, Perry said, suggesting perhaps to sell or collect the specimens. “They’re not worth much. They’re just old antlers,” she said in an interview. “The loss is significant to my heart.”
Like her father, Perry said she enjoys finding the shed antlers and appreciates their unique sculptural quality. “An antler to me is a piece of art,” she explained.
Perry said she doesn’t understand why someone couldn’t have just noticed the antlers, admired them, and left them alone. She chalks the act of removing them up to disrespect.
“He’s been gone almost eight years, but he’s missed every day,” she said of her father. Leaving the small tributes has become a fond ritual to remember him.
Shawnee and her father in an undated photo. Courtesy photo
In fact, the response to her message has been a comfort. “It’s been very heartening. I’ve gotten a tremendous amount of support from family and friends,” she said, noting how many commented that they often think of James Perry when they go past and see the stone-wall monument.
Realistically, Perry said she doesn’t expect to get the antlers back. She will likely replace them with others one day soon. Friends have also offered to share some from their own collections.
Still, talking about the incident might be a reminder to people to respect things that belong to others, she said.
And there may be a very small chance that the individual responsible might realize that the antlers meant something to someone, regret their choice, and possibly return them. “Cosmic energy” might intervene, Perry said with a laugh, adding, “I might have sent a ripple their way.”
Postscript: Shawnee Perry checked in on Friday, May 12, to say she’s added a new moose antler to the Perry memorial marker.